dancing with my confusion (english)

the months go by slowly
as the weeks and days punish me with their emptyness
an emptyness i vaguely recognize
from the offly far away lands of which i have been pushed away
by the time and space of social remarks of what is right
for them, i most certainly did obey
though my most profound wish was to explore the beautiful and vast possibilities
of self guidance and indentification
reflected on the lagoons by the Alps and snow mountain sides.
the still very blurred vision of myself was presented to me
and who am i, if not only physical manifestations of the whatsitcalled particules
that consist my figure of soul and love?
maybe the dark despair cloud of the heart can tell you
what it is that i am finally made of:
The horror! The horror!
no meaning whatsoever is added to this -
could it be?
there's still an untoucheble inner light
which was disguised by the byronesque melancholy
for great mourning carries great renaissance
walking along by misleading steps
Wonderland and the Continent of Darkness
fighting for attention and power,
for long as they both shall live.
Now I am a capital I
the same first letter of Inconscious
inside a body-and-soul that is unique
and therefor, psyche
a one and only psyche.